… But really. I’ve been studying for the GRE, and undergoing the requisite parallel-universe stress that accompanies any major life change. “How can I choose School X, when I would be equally happy at School Y and become a completely different person based on the people I meet and life experiences I have there?”
There was this cute little Lutheran school that I was thinking of going to, back in 2008. And Northwestern was always on the table. And I could have gone to either of those schools, and that would have been fine. That would have been more than fine, that would have been real life. And I would have absolutely no idea of the people and experiences I had missed out on from my current real life.
Frankly, I find the infinitesimal odds of being where I am in life right now vaguely worrisome. I need a Worry Hat. (Although, to be fair, I like what my unthinking use of the word “infinitesimal” does for my chances on the GRE.)
I am also a bit more homesick for NASA than I can remember being homesick for home. And then there’s Norway. And the debt ceiling thing. And I’m really trying to finish A Dance With Dragons? And my internship. I love my internship, I really do; maybe someday I’ll write about it. But part of my job is making graphs like this:
And yes, we’re working to fix problems of disproportionality. And I don’t mean to disavow my previous wild-eyed optimism about a slightly-less-terrible future for all of humanity. But life is looking just a little grim from where I’m sitting.
It’s probably just all the practice exams.